Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
