Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
