I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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