YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
