It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
