Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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