I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
