I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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