Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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