I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
