Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize