Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just threw up on my dentist
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
