So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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