ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
