He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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