People in love make me want to vomit
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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