She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
