We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
