haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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