Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
