i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
