I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
