i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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