Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
