Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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