It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
