i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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