hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
