i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
