Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
