it's like heaven, but drunker
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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