Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize