apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think I am morally bankrupt
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
