he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
