I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
