Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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