You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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