All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
