You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
