Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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