Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
