I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
