My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
