And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
