It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
