I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
