So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
