Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
