don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I currently don't understand fingers.
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