Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
