kristin has been a bad kristin
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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