I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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