therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
