i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
dude. I can hear the air.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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