highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
