I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
