I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
