I'm really into asian looking animals
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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