I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
