Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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