I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
